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Cover of Saying No Without Guilt
Personal development

Saying No Without Guilt

Set your boundaries, calm anxious attachment and stop pleasing everyone.

  • 21-day program
  • 82 pages
  • PDF, English
$15Read on any screen, print the fill-in pages
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Who it’s for

People-pleasers who say yes and regret it, and want to set limits without guilt.

What you will do

  • Understand what a boundary is, where the fear of disappointing comes from and why guilt arrives
  • Calm the reaction first: 24-hour pause, bridge replies, reframing automatic thoughts
  • Say it and hold it, with scripts for family, partner, work, friends, money and messages

Also included

  • A self-assessment test to start
  • The 4-step formula and the DEAR MAN method
  • A 21-day workbook of small, progressive nos

Look inside

Three real pages from the ebook. Tap one to open it in full size, then zoom in to read.

Table of contents

How to use this bookp. 4
Introduction — The yes you regretp. 5
Self-assessment test: where do you stand?p. 6
PART 1 — UNDERSTAND p. 9
  • 1. What a boundary really isp. 10
  • 2. Attachment: where your fear of disappointing comes fromp. 12
  • 3. Anxious attachment day to dayp. 15
  • 4. People-pleasing: pleasing to feel safep. 18
  • 5. Why guilt arrives — and what it really meansp. 21
PART 2 — REGULATE p. 24
  • 6. Your window of tolerance: answering from calmp. 25
  • 7. The 24-hour pause and bridge repliesp. 27
  • 8. Calming activation: a self-soothing toolboxp. 29
  • 9. Reframing automatic thoughts (CBT-inspired)p. 31
PART 3 — SET THE BOUNDARY p. 33
  • 10. Passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, assertive: the differencep. 34
  • 11. The 4-step formula + DEAR MANp. 36
  • 12. Scripts: familyp. 39
  • 13. Scripts: partner and close relationshipsp. 41
  • 14. Scripts: workp. 43
  • 15. Scripts: friends, money and timep. 45
  • 16. Scripts: messages, texts and guilt-trippingp. 47
PART 4 — HOLD THE BOUNDARY p. 49
  • 17. Other people's reactions — and the extinction burstp. 50
  • 18. Holding firm without hardening, repairing without canceling yourselfp. 52
21-DAY WORKBOOK p. 55
  • Day 1 — Inventory of regretted yesesp. 55
  • Day 2 — Spotting my alarm signalp. 56
  • Day 3 — The bridge reply, rehearsedp. 57
  • Day 4 — 24 hours under gentle watchp. 58
  • Day 5 — My 6 areas, my rankingp. 59
  • Day 6 — Restructuring a thoughtp. 60
  • Day 7 — Week 1 review + calming protocolp. 61
  • Day 8 — Small no no. 1p. 62
  • Day 9 — The written nop. 63
  • Day 10 — Riding out the guilt wavep. 64
  • Day 11 — DEAR MAN on paperp. 65
  • Day 12 — Tailor-made scriptsp. 66
  • Day 13 — Restructuring no. 2: mind readingp. 67
  • Day 14 — Week 2 review + my first real contextp. 68
  • Day 15 — Setting the boundary in context no. 1p. 69
  • Day 16 — Holding firm against the testp. 70
  • Day 17 — Repairing without canceling yourselfp. 71
  • Day 18 — The no to money or timep. 72
  • Day 19 — My digital boundaryp. 73
  • Day 20 — Saying yes — by choosing itp. 74
  • Day 21 — 21-day review + retaking the testp. 75
Printable sheetsp. 76
Conclusion + 30-day maintenance planp. 79
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Frequently asked questions

What format are the ebooks?

PDF, to read on a computer, tablet or phone. The fill-in pages can be printed.

Can I write directly in the PDF?

The pages have lines to fill in. Write on paper after printing, or use the annotation tool of your PDF reader.

Do the ebooks replace medical or psychological care?

No. They are practical support tools. If you are going through a very hard time, talk to a professional.

Are the ebooks in English?

Yes. Every ebook on this page is the English edition.