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Cover of Stop Negotiating
Personal development

Stop Negotiating

You know what to do. It’s the debate beforehand that wears you out. Build one habit, one day at a time.

  • 30-day program
  • 99 pages
  • PDF, English
$17Read on any screen, print the fill-in pages
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Who it’s for

People who know what to do but lose the daily debate with themselves before they start.

What you will do

  • Pick one habit and see your loop clearly
  • Make it easy: the 2-minute version, stacking, if-then plans and a visible tracker
  • Hold on when it breaks: missed-day protocol, minimum mode, restarting after several days

Also included

  • A starting test: your negotiator profile
  • A 10-minute restart protocol for when you miss 3 days
  • A 30-day logbook and a frequently-asked-questions section

Look inside

Three real pages from the ebook. Tap one to open it in full size, then zoom in to read.

Table of contents

First Aid — You just missed 3 daysp. 4
First Aid — The 10-minute restart protocolp. 5
Introduction — You already know what to dop. 5
Introduction — What this book is notp. 6
Starting test — Your negotiator profile (1 of 2)p. 7
Starting test — Your negotiator profile (2 of 2)p. 8
Reading your test, without judging yourselfp. 9
How to use the workbookp. 10
Your 30-day logbookp. 10
Frequently asked questions before you startp. 11
Frequently asked questions — continuedp. 12
Phase 1 — Seeing clearly p. 13
  • Day 1 — Pick one habit, not fivep. 15
  • Day 2 — Your loop, for realp. 17
  • Day 3 — Mapping your negotiationsp. 19
  • Day 4 — The 21-day myth, properly dismantledp. 21
  • Day 5 — Your starting point, measuredp. 23
  • Day 6 — Why day 4 breaksp. 25
  • Day 7 — Your guiding sentence and your 30-day contractp. 27
Phase 1 review — Seeing clearlyp. 29
Phase 2 — Making it easy p. 29
  • Day 8 — The 2-minute versionp. 32
  • Day 9 — Stacking on what already holdsp. 34
  • Day 10 — Your environment does the workp. 36
  • Day 11 — If-then plans no. 1 — locking in the time slotp. 38
  • Day 12 — If-then plans no. 2 — the predictable obstaclep. 40
  • Day 13 — Making it visible — tracking that motivatesp. 42
  • Day 14 — The immediate, honest rewardp. 44
  • Day 15 — Checkpoint — adjusting without starting overp. 46
Phase 2 review — Making it easyp. 48
Phase 3 — Holding on when it breaks p. 48
  • Day 16 — The missed day — protocol, not trialp. 51
  • Day 17 — The rotten week — minimum modep. 53
  • Day 18 — The weekend is not an exceptionp. 55
  • Day 19 — The people around you — requests, remarks, invitationsp. 57
  • Day 20 — Screens and digital triggersp. 59
  • Day 21 — When motivation drops — it always dropsp. 61
  • Day 22 — The evening negotiation versus the morning onep. 63
  • Day 23 — Restarting after several days — the comebackp. 65
Phase 3 review — Holding on when it breaksp. 67
Phase 4 — Becoming p. 67
  • Day 24 — "I'm someone who…"p. 70
  • Day 25 — Raising the dose without breaking the machinep. 72
  • Day 26 — Your maintenance system — the typical weekp. 74
  • Day 27 — Preparing for future relapses, while calmp. 76
  • Day 28 — What 30 days really changed — the measurementsp. 78
  • Day 29 — Re-test and letter to the reader of day 1p. 80
  • Day 30 — Review — and the course for the next 30 daysp. 82
Phase 4 review — Becomingp. 84
Sheet 1 — My habit cardp. 85
Sheet 2 — If-then planp. 86
Sheet 3 — 30-day trackerp. 87
Sheet 3 — Tracker: week 5, totals and instructionsp. 88
Sheet 4 — Restart kitp. 88
Appendix — 20 prepared answers (1 of 4)p. 89
Appendix — 20 prepared answers (2 of 4)p. 90
Appendix — 20 prepared answers (3 of 4)p. 91
Appendix — 20 prepared answers (4 of 4)p. 92
Sources and reading — what this book owes to the researchp. 93
Final review — your exit pagep. 94
Workshop — The grid for choosing your habitp. 94
Appendix — Bank of if-then plansp. 95
Appendix — Your weekly logbook (after day 30)p. 96
Going further — annotated readingp. 97
Sheet 1B — Your card, large formatp. 98
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Frequently asked questions

What format are the ebooks?

PDF, to read on a computer, tablet or phone. The fill-in pages can be printed.

Can I write directly in the PDF?

The pages have lines to fill in. Write on paper after printing, or use the annotation tool of your PDF reader.

Do the ebooks replace medical or psychological care?

No. They are practical support tools. If you are going through a very hard time, talk to a professional.

Are the ebooks in English?

Yes. Every ebook on this page is the English edition.